This is about to be an unusual sunrise but I believe it is extremely necessary. It is written to you that feel as if you have backslidden from God. You remember a time when you were on fire for God, ready to pray at any moment and not one church service would miss you. However, you messed up one day. It happened at a time you least expected, and the weight of your sin weighs heavily on your shoulder and mind. Some condemn you and you feel to isolate yourself and never return to those people. While others, tell you "it will be ok, just repent and come back" but they are already good with God, they don't feel the burden of guilt that is on your heart.
The devil is after every last one of us. His desire is that we all perish. He will do or say whatever necessary to keep you out of a good relationship with God. He will even speak to your mind and it will sound just like a regular thought. These thoughts come with such a persuasion that you would make a whole life change because of how real they feel. I have one thing to ask, however, How do you feel?
Be honest with yourself, no matter the guilt and the shame that you have undergone, there is still a feeling of hope that raises in your heart. Hope that you can do it again. Hope that you will make it. That feeling is God Himself, beckoning you home. Lighting the path of your feet back to safety. Did you realize that the more you sinned is the worse you felt? You sin the more in attempt to silence His voice, but God is more than a voice, He is a person present in you. You close down and stop talking to people, because you are warring in your heart. But guess what, if God had left you, you would not still feel bad when you sin. Follow the leading of God in your heart. Be bold and swallow your shame. Be humble and allow God to pick you up. You will find if you come back to Him, you won't have to start over, but He will pick up right where you left off.
I am praying for you.